Central Plateau, North Island

Central Plateau, North Island
View from a friend's farm

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Laugh till you Cry.


A dear friend sent this to me by email, and I am sure  she knew I would pass it on. Enjoy.


The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids

myself,clip_image002but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.


When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.
It helps them get over shyness and usually,

show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
clip_image004 pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a

hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.'
(Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe'.

They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother..
clip_image005He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. clip_image006When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'clip_image007

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.clip_image008
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.

Quotation of the day ,author unknown.

Miles will not separate you from a true friend”

Greetings from Jean




Julie Fukuda said...

I've seen some interesting show and tells, but that one beats them all.

Nancy J said...

Yes Julie, proably the best of all, and when I read it out to Hugh and our guests last night, I laughed so much I could hardly say the words. Cheers, Jean.

Kat said...

That's so funny!! My younger daughter (she's 6) believes that "The Baby Makers" make you a baby and put it in your belly. My sister is pregnant and just found out it's a boy, though my daughter wanted it to be a girl. My daughter said my sister must not have been clear in her letter to The Baby Makers of they would have made her a girl instead :-).

Lindsjö taxar said...

Ha ha good laugh I had...

Jenny said...

Thanks for the laugh, Jean, I needed that. (Just heard some bad news about a friend)
I've got tears of laughter running down my face!

Barb said...

Laughing as only a former teacher can, here in CO!

Nancy J said...

Thank you for all your laughter and comments, I thought it was too good not to be put on my blog . Cheers from Jean.

KB said...

Oh my. Thank you so very much for sharing. What a video that would be. Her parents would treasure it forever.

The Runner just asked what I was laughing so hard about!!!!

Michaele said...

That was too funny! The story was told well - no recorder needed. I love show and tell, but the one I remember best was when one girl in my class had nothing to show, so she brought her empty glue bottle to the front to talk about it. I remember hearing the teacher snicker.

Susan Heather said...

Oh, that was wonderful - thank you.